Kate is the owner of Innovative Media & Design, and the original designer of Great (Lakes Bay) Moms. There is no denying that creative juices flow through her body. Having three kids of her own Kate knows all about the joys (and challenges) of motherhood.
My Experience with Miscarriage
When you are younger and thinking of having children, you don’t think about how long it takes to get pregnant, the agony of pregnancy or even the possibility of having a miscarriage.
After nearly 2 years of trying to get pregnant, we FINALLY did. It was so exciting, a whirlwind of happiness and of course we told every soul we knew. So what comes next? You are scheduled for multiple doctors’ visits, a welcome visit that includes an exam (8 weeks), and than an ultrasound, which is normally around 10-12 weeks gestation. In the meantime, all the amazing things you have been thinking of are becoming a reality, you figure out your due date, you start thinking about names, you sign up on an online moms website, you start dreaming about what this child will be like… At least that is what I did.
The pregnancy seemed normal as far as I knew; I had never been pregnant before. I had no bleeding, my first doctors visit was normal, other than I was diagnosed very early (7 weeks) with gestational diabetes, it was assumed I was borderline diabetic prior to the pregnancy. This could also be a reason WHY it had been a little more difficult to conceive.
At 10 weeks I went for the first ultrasound, of course we were very excited. BUT there was no heartbeat, no fetal pole, nothing… other than an empty sac. Dr. Spence at Womens OB was very sympathetic, she advised to come back in one week and look again, that possibly our dates were off. I knew my dates weren’t off and we left heartbroken. The next week was the hardest week of our lives till that point. I spent most days crying. I advised my husband to tell friends and family not to hug me or try and tell me “It’s going to be ok.” Or “You can try again.” Or “God has another plan.” None of this assisted with my grieving, I had just lost a child, a child that I had prayed and longed for. Nothing anyone would say was going to make this process easier.
One week later we went back to Womens OB and again had another ultrasound with Dr. Spence. Of course it was the result we expected – the result we didn’t want to hear. I had a miscarriage and it had probably happened early on. I had no bleeding, no cramping, and no symptoms of this. I had two options, a D&C, which I denied because I saw it as an unnecessary surgery, or a pill called Misoprostol. Misoprostol makes you naturally go into labor at home and the body will take care of the miscarriage. This drug is also used to induce labor at full-term in low doses. This is the option I chose.
Dr Spence was very kind. She advised that I continue with diabetic education and get my diabetes controlled. I was put on a strict diet, and eventually on Glucophage, a drug that is used to control your diabetes. I remained on this drug until I was pregnant again with my 2nd child, who was born healthy at 39 weeks.
During this unfortunate experience, I became stronger, I became healthier, and I talked about my miscarriage to many friends that were trying to get pregnant or were early in pregnancy. I found out the statistics of miscarriages and it can be as high as 1 in 3 woman will have one, some will never know… this made me wonder if it was possible that I had other previously. I found out multiple women around me had also miscarried but never spoke of it, which saddened me. I used this experience to educate others, and had multiple friends reach out to me because they as well had a miscarriage.
We will never know the reason WHY I miscarried, but in my heart I have 4 children; 1 in Heaven and 3 on Earth. I was blessed with twins my second pregnancy only 16 months after the first birth. My children are amazing and I cherish every moment.
To every woman that has had a miscarriage or may go through one… remember that child is still your child and to take that horribly sad experience and find the small amount of good inside of it.
Thank you to Womens OB for all of your care and support.
Great Lakes Bay’s MISCARRIAGE Support Groups:
Additional Information on Miscarriages: